{"id":1665,"date":"2016-09-25T16:21:51","date_gmt":"2016-09-25T16:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/behavioural-therapy.com\/?p=1665"},"modified":"2016-10-05T17:47:11","modified_gmt":"2016-10-05T17:47:11","slug":"events-dont-upset-beliefs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/behavioural-therapy.com\/?p=1665","title":{"rendered":"Events Don’t Upset You \u2014 Your Beliefs Do"},"content":{"rendered":"

We all like a bit of ancient wisdom. But how many of us have actually read any of the Classics?\u00a0How ancient wisdom, the Stoics and Albert Ellis can help you<\/h2>\n

The funny thing is, we’re more likely to live happier lives if\u00a0we visit the classics section of the book store than the self-help aisle.\u00a0So, if we don’t read the classics, how can\u00a0we learn\u00a0what one group of brilliant dead blokes\u00a0\u2014The Stoics \u2014\u00a0had to say? Well, let’s have a go…<\/p>\n

Events\u00a0Don’t Upset You\u00a0\u2014\u00a0Beliefs Do<\/h2>\n

So, you get dumped by someone you’re totally in love with. Feel sad? Yes. The world feels like it’s\u00a0going to end.\u00a0I think we’ve all been there…\u00a0Let’s move on… Same scenario, but afterwards\u00a0you find out that person was actually a psychopath who killed their last three partners. Feel sad you got dumped? No, you’re thrilled…<\/p>\n

So, clearly getting dumped isn’t the important issue\u00a0here. What’s changed? Actually, nothing other than\u00a0your beliefs.<\/p>\n

If you lose your job and you\u00a0believe\u00a0it was a lousy job anyway,\u00a0and you also believe\u00a0it won’t be hard for you to get a better job, you’re likely not going to be too bothered.<\/p>\n

However, if you\u00a0believe<\/em>\u00a0it was the greatest job ever and\u00a0believe<\/em>\u00a0you’ll never get another one that good \u2014\u00a0you’re devastated.\u00a0Emotions aren’t random. They follow from beliefs.<\/p>\n

So, let’s move on to the\u00a0Stoics. They believed\u00a0there are no good or bad events, there’s only perception. Shakespeare put\u00a0it well when he said: “Nothing is either good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” What Shakespeare and the Stoics are saying is that the world around us is indifferent, it is objective. The Stoics are saying: “This happened to me,” is not the same as, “This happened to me and that’s bad.” They’re saying if you stop at the first bit, you will be much more resilient and much more able to make some good out of anything that happens to you.<\/p>\n

Does this sound too simple? Well, yes, actually it is that simple. But\u00a0this philosophy is what led renowned psychologist Albert Ellis to develop Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (or REBT) which was the first form of the more-widely known Cognitive Behavioural Therapy<\/a> (CBT) pioneered by Aaron Beck and now well accepted as one of the most effective treatments for depression, anxiety and other disorders, including disordered eating.<\/p>\n

Most Bad Feelings Are Caused by Irrational Beliefs<\/h2>\n

Next time you’re feeling negative emotions, don’t focus on the event that you think ’caused’ them. Ask yourself what\u00a0belief<\/em>\u00a0you hold about that event. And then ask yourself if it’s\u00a0rational:<\/em><\/p>\n