{"id":1739,"date":"2016-12-14T14:57:00","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T14:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/behavioural-therapy.com\/?p=1739"},"modified":"2023-05-08T11:35:27","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T11:35:27","slug":"demons-on-the-boat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/behavioural-therapy.com\/?p=1739","title":{"rendered":"Demons on the Boat"},"content":{"rendered":"

Imagine you\u2019re steering a ship far out to sea. Below the deck, out of sight, lies a vast horde of demons, all with enormous claws and razor-sharp teeth.<\/strong><\/p>\n

These demons have many different forms. Some of them are emotions, such as guilt, anger, fear or hopelessness. Some are memories of times you\u2019ve failed or been hurt. Others are thoughts like \u201cit\u2019s too hard,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ll make a fool of myself,\u201d or I\u2019ll fail.\u201d Some of them are mental images, in which you see yourself performing badly or getting rejected. Others are strong urges to drink too much, smoke, harm yourself, or overt. And still others are unpleasant sensations, such as tightness in your chest, or a knot in your stomach.<\/p>\n

Now, as long as you keep that ship drifting out to sea, the demons will stay below. But as soon as you start steering toward land, they clamber up from below deck\u2026 flapping their wings, baring their fangs and generally threatening to tear you into little pieces. Unsurprisingly, you don\u2019t like that very much, so you cut a deal\u2026 \u201cIf you demons stay below deck, out of sight, I\u2019ll keep the ship drifting out at sea.\u201d The demons agree, and everything seems OK\u2026 for a while\u2026<\/p>\n

The interesting thing is. although these demons threaten you, they never actually cause you any physical harm. Why not? Because they can\u2019t! All they can do is growl and wave their claws and look terrifying \u2014 physically they can\u2019t even touch you. And once you realise this, you\u2019re free. It means you can take your ship wherever you want \u2014 as long as you\u2019re willing to accept the demon\u2019s presence. All you have to do to reach land is accept that the demons are above deck, accept that they\u2019re doing their very best to scare you and keep steering the ship toward shore.<\/p>\n

The demons may howl and protest, but they\u2019re powerless because their power relies totally on your belief in their threats.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But if you\u2019re not willing to accept these demons, if you\u2019ve got to keep them below deck at all costs, then your only option is to stay adrift, at sea. Of course, you can try to throw the demons overboard, but while you\u2019re busy doing that no one is piloting the ship, so you run the risk of crashing into the rocks or capsizing. Besides that, it\u2019s a struggle you could never win, because there\u2019s an infinite number of those demons in the hold.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s horrible!\u201d you may well protest. \u201cI don\u2019t want to live surrounded by demons!!\u201d Well, I\u2019m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you already are\u2026 And those demons will keep showing up, again and again, as soon as you start to take your life in a valued direction.<\/p>\n

Now, here\u2019s the good news: if you keep steering your ship toward shore (no matter how much the demons threaten you), many of them will realise they\u2019re having no effect and will give up and leave you alone. As for the ones that remain\u2026 after a while you\u2019ll get used to them. And if you take a good, long look at them, you\u2019ll realise they\u2019re nowhere nearly as scary as they first appeared.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll realise they\u2019ve been using special effects to make themselves look a lot bigger than they really are. Sure, they\u2019ll still look ugly\u2026 they won\u2019t turn into cute fluffy bunnies, but you\u2019ll find them much less frightening. And you\u2019ll find that you can let them hang around without being bothered by them. And in any case, as you continue on that voyage you\u2019ll find it\u2019s not just demons that turn up\u2026 there are also dolphins, angels and mermaids!<\/p>\n

And it doesn\u2019t matter how far away from shore you are. The instant you start heading towards it, you\u2019re living life\u2026 you\u2019re having an adventure\u2026 you\u2019re moving in a valued direction. As Helen Keller said: \u201cLife is a daring adventure, or nothing at all\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A variant of Passengers On The Bus \u2013 The Happiness Trap \u2013 Dr. Russ Harris, M.D.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Imagine you\u2019re steering a ship far out to sea. Below the deck, out of sight,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[513],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-behavioural-psychology"],"yoast_head":"\nDemons on the Boat - Fiona Wilkinson, Psy.D ~ Behavioural Therapy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/behavioural-therapy.com\/?p=1739\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Demons on the Boat - Fiona Wilkinson, Psy.D ~ Behavioural Therapy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Imagine you\u2019re steering a ship far out to sea. 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